Welcome to my little mind where demons are real, girls are loud, brave and sometimes action oriented. Where the good and bad sit to have tea, and nothing is truly real.
This is my 10th and last month being in Lagos. One of the reasons I started writing online is because blog posts would be the new books and I want the accounts of my life ‘clearly stated for my kids to see’ as a kind of forever companion.
It’s not really for you 🤷🏽♀️ but let’s go…
Solitude is good but loneliness becomes a disease.
Most of my times were spent in solitude while in Lagos. Lagos is a very loud city so to do that, I’m just Me. Obviously it started to turn to loneliness & then I craved a community. I guess there’s a thin line between both & if I could try again, I’d try balancing both instead but I’m young… so I can do over soon enough. I hope I do it well.
Plus I always say what ever happens is meant to happen.
“I feel like I have it figured out but I’m just 22“
A lot of self searching happened. I want to do things perfectly by my standards, but everyone’s version is different & it’s not that easy accepting yours . Honestly, I don’t think i know what I’m supposed to find. Things are always changing, no matter how many times I think I’ve figured it out , there’s just some (excuse my French) New Shit! The only thing I know for sure is All will be Well.
Pretty annoying right?
Self searching is fun and the waves are unique , so try it.
It is well with our soul
Let’s chat about philosophy and I could go on for hours. I’m deeply fascinated, Infact entranced by the conversation.
Being in Lagos , I filled my solitude with some knowledge but knowledge barely uncovers the love of God
It is true that I love a good banter but I do not care to win, although I’m hardly chanced to lose. What I know for sure is , I love my creator but there are many tales about how we came to be & how the skies, water and earth came to be. What happens after life is more a mystery than bodies of water. God exists & God loves. Do not shy away from philosophy and it’s madness but remember “ There are more things in heaven and Earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy”
Everybody will share their opinions with you
Never sit down to get advice from someone who is great at debating because hardly ever do they care about your experiences and how that might have shaped you , they just care to be right. It’s a big problem honestly. With voices from every corner telling you how to be, the voice that’s most commanding & theoretically correct would receive most of the resentment, as it should be anyway. People hardly ever admit that they can only speak for that moment & nothing more, just beware.
Intuition is the mental backbone
I’m not sure if that’s accurate but what I mean to say is , intuition is vital for a fulfilling life. Although intuition is important, it can be rendered so useless without action. I get it , you want to be sure but deep within, you already are, you just need “more confirmation”. Thing is, more confirmation comes at a steep price.
that’s a lesson I’ve still not learnt enough of.
Don’t wake up one day saying I’m healed and think yourself healed
I mean there’s that line about Mohamed saying to the mountain move and what not. But it’s not that simple, Mountains are no match for the affairs of the heart. Healing is excruciating but you never have to do it alone. When you’re sent people or placed in positions that would help you heal, simply embrace what is before you. Sometimes the package is good, sometimes it’s not to your taste but life is so tailored for perfection you can’t avoid it even if you spent your life trying.
dont forget the part where I wrote this is also excruciating
Lagos like any city would change you
When choosing a place to settle , I wonder how people choose Lagos. I guess there are people built for this as there are people who aren’t & I wanted to prove I was built for it but Haq Haq … Some people have it ‘easy’ and some people enjoy the tussle. The only tussle I like is in someway pleasurable, all else is trash. If you want to bloom like an elegant breathtaking flower, you’ll do best to keep yourself away from Nigeria but if you’re here , never choose Lagos.
People attract reflections of themselves
. I promise you that what I’m about to tell you, is a fact. The first impression a person leaves on you is just a reflection of yourself that you have an inner conflict with but haven’t found a resolution to or a reflection you find comfort in. Then the people you attract relate to a fragmented version of you that’s sitting comfortably within your subconscious. I wanted to say don’t hate the player – hate the game, obviously it doesn’t apply but who cares . Wait!! Now that I’m thinking about it, it does apply – Ha!!!
Every good/bad thing must come to an end
As I get to number 10, this one just knocks at my door. If there’s a beginning there’s an end. Oddly I realize that when I get over a person, I’m comforted but I miss the way I felt about the situation – is that weird. All of a sudden now that i feel nothing , maybe listening to drake and relating to his lyrics was way more fun than I could ever imagine. It’s not about the situation in particular, it’s the emotions that came with it. So whatever you think won’t come to an end , would. As you leave that animal, place , thing, food etc you realize that the life you gave to whatever that was would be dearly missed.
There’s more greatness to achieve and I’m scared but so fucking excited
Like every good fairy tale, the princess shall go and live with her prince in happily ever after. Dumbos! . It doesn’t mean life won’t show me more pepper, it just means I’ve closed a chapter and it’s so refreshing, it’s like leaving for some holiday but the holiday is just my life. Endings are so melodramatic, I would literally cry if I was leaving a place, friend , Job, Man etc . The deeper message for me is I’ve grown and I’m about to take a new form, all the fears I had in the past are suddenly nonexistent and there’s just a whole new thing in front of me, but trust that if I could take on Lagos aka “Lou takes Lagos”, I’m practically unstoppable.
DJ play Unstoppable by Sia As I step on stage to collect my awards
Yesterday I felt pulled to open a Telegram Channel/ Group chat for young women like myself who seek the community of other powerful women, women in love with God and women who are deeply emotional and just need that solace & I created it. Basically I’m the organizer but that’s about it , everyone’s unique strengths is what would foster and grow our community so if you’re interested in that sort of affair
Here’s the channel link
And here’s the group link
Bye lovelies 🍬❤️🤡