Holistic, lifestyle, spirituality

January Dump

What will survive will not just survive , it will live

Most humans seek some form of recognition for their contribution to society because it’s one of the ways we perceive our worth. After giving it my all, eventually I wanted my creative form of expression to take off, see sponsored ads by yours truly, see my brand grow into a household name but at what cost.

I met a pregnant dog at my aunts house at the beginning of the year, two days before I was meant to leave , the dog went into labor. A puppy survived, I did all I could to take care of it, I sat by the pup through the day, I did everything but it died.

What will survive , will not just survive , it will live

22 is dead”( we already gave it a name). Moral of the story is “Breathing life into a cause,a dream , a person , a desire doesn’t guarantee fruitfulness”

Disappointed, I applied this lesson to every aspect of my life, even my blog.

only when you pause in between your sentences can you allow life to flow through your words

Tito . L . Fakunle

What do you do ? As a directionless person

Listening to people who don’t know their purpose and who don’t care to know feels like a punishment. Amaka taught me the basics of baking so I asked her if she felt called to catering & she said yes.

I’m searching for my purpose in life so I asked her how she did it.

She explained to me what she went through and I found comfort in her experience. I only wanted to be concerned with my purpose , I wanted to recognize it instantly , I wanted to figure it out on time so I can start to feel whole & useful but I’m learning so much instead.

I already feel whole. Clearly, knowing my purpose would light a torch in my soul but what’s the rush ? I will eventually find out what my purpose is but I don’t mind being directionless in a society like ours.

Speaker: What do you do ? As someone without a direction …

Tito : I plunge into life , I have many skills, I’m flexible and teachable. I’m open to change. If I listen to my peers , or more matured people , I’d be the most anxious person in the world because how am I okay with not knowing, how am I undisturbed by the expectations of society …

Get comfortable with remaining unknown

A king is only as significant as the man begging for some money on the street. At some point the only thing the world was telling me was “Get comfortable with being unseen & unheard. Get comfortable remaining unknown”

It felt like the world was intentionally breaking my heart. The world knew what I wanted and chose not to give it to me…. So I took a happy pill & here’s what I found.

I’ve lived a life where everything I ask for now, I had. In a matter of months I lost it & with losing it, I lost myself. That was the darkest time of my life because that was a peak of life’s many lessons.

Imagine all you had to do was cross a bridge to get to your life’s desires, comfort & fullness. You’ve crossed this bridge countless times till one day you get to the bridge, just to meet it destroyed. Now all you can do is sit at the edge and look to the other side feeling empty.

This representation caused an ego death. “ How?? Will I ever get to my life’s fullness and joy. I can’t fix this bridge so what now, there has to be some other way”. First I had to give up everything that bridge stood for, friendship , wealth , love etc.

I do not need any of these things to feel full“. Accepting this has brought abundance to me quicker because I’m the “IT” Factor not these things. I imagine things and they come to life, I desire things and gain them, so it has to be me.

I didn’t need that bridge to get to the other side anylonger. Infact I could be at any side & still feel full. It was the most heartbreaking and heart warming experience ever.

That night I settled many things within myself. I felt something I’d not felt before & I wanted to hold on to it. Not one version of me is more important than the other, they all aid me accordingly. Now I know that if I let my fullness depend on one thing solely , I will lose it.

Do you know what I did the next day ?

• I didn’t rush

• I particularly enjoyed getting ready for my day

I gave out sample cupcakes

I manifested meeting someone noteworthy & they came to me

I let my soul be touched by other people’s worlds lightly without needing to remain in that moment.

I let myself become insignificant even though it seemed like that made people pay more attention to me.

• I read people like the back of my hand

I felt like a butterfly.

I heard the voice of God that day

When I exist as We

The things you think will last will pass in a blink of an eye . After remembering what it feels like to be full, the last thing I wish for myself is to be attached to anything.

There’s a story of a stick flowing in a river till it meets a log that blocks its path. The stick is stuck… what must it do to become free or better yet why has the river brought it to a pause. Face to face with this log.

The stick learns there’s freedom in stillness

It’s the things & people you dearly want to keep that you learn to lose. Seeing myself fully, I can boldly say today that “ I have no identity “. Everyone carries different versions of you , you have met many versions of yourself & will meet more , the only standing truth is that your formlessness has made the greatest mosaic.

My dreams are vivid, abnormal, scary , funny , loving , magically, strange , intuitive. why would I give up the places I go to when I sleep to solely being a good citizen?

All these Versions of me that exist in the world , I want to keep. I want to cause people to discover themselves anew and I want to meet people that do that for me. I never want to be just one thing or one person & I don’t care who has a problem with that.

I recognize myself more when I exist as we.

4 thoughts on “January Dump”

  1. Each time I read your letters I feel fulfilled..
    I learn everytime and its so beautiful to see me grow just by reading these letters…

    Keep soaring and keep being you,Xx💖

    Liked by 1 person

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