Mental Health

Don’t end it

You hear people who start from the bottom say it wasn’t easy in the beginning & I always try to imagine what they meant.

Maybe they were broke , wanted to help their families but couldn’t , they had an idea but had no means to start, they remained positive but were met with hard days, or they weren’t accepted.

Maybe they went through worse

But when they say it , you never really understand what they mean till you walk a mile in their shoes. Life can be really uneventful and overbearing .

When you tell someone how you dread waking up , they’ll tell you to be positive like you’re stupid and didn’t think of that. If you’ve read my previous articles you’ve probably felt I thought being positive was super easy.

What do you really want me to say

I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. What I was trying to do was make you feel welcome and show you there’s a place here for you.

There’s a place here for your pain, your anger , your dread, you loneliness , your dismay , there’s room here for you , I promise .

You may or may not know me directly but I love you. I love your strength , I love your zeal, I love your laziness , I love your creativity , I love the fact that you’re still here , hard as it is.

I’d hate to be cliche and tell you there’s a reason everything is happening but have you thought about this reality , “ you may think it’s not working out but it really is “.

That’s probably the last thing you want to hear but what else can I say to make you feel better. You’ve tried to sleep, drink, smoke or self harm your feelings away but here you are still wondering when it all really ends .

Today I wondered what it meant to be fake positive and if that’s what I was portraying but alas that’s not me. I’m the most normal – extraordinary person I know.

I mean, I’ve felt pain that kept me locked up in a room, I’ve thought countless times that being alive was harder that being dead, and I’ve felt shame for feeling that way.

People want to pretend that’s not normal but it’s a lie , it’s expected . When you live in a world like this … a world built to misunderstand and harm you , you’d have to be a fairy that flies to another planet at night to not feel suicidal .

Things are messed up, so it’s okay you feel that way. It’s okay to want a permanent break from earth but listen to me when I say that you don’t have to leave

Why ??

Alot of people understand you more than they want to admit. Humanity has existed without living like “We are all connected “ & this has cost us more than we can imagine.

When the insides are healthy , the outside will reflect that. Every selfish choice that has / is being made is causing the earth (the outside) to also fall apart , one way or another .

So there’s not only Individual problems , there’s also universal problems. Let no one lie to you that they don’t feel, on a soul level what is happening & if they manage to perfect that lie

e.g I don’t understand what you mean, what is she really talking about ?

They’ll be the ones causing direct harm to the whole . If the world was better , you probably won’t feel that weight , you won’t be scared of what happens years from now , you won’t be scared to do nothing , to make that choice, to have kids.

This is where we are at and what can we do about it

My love , even the rich cry. What you really need is inner peace. Sure external factors would alleviate your immediate worries but you have zero control over what happens next

It can be good today and challenging tomorrow but it doesn’t mean you should ingest harmful substances or jump from a roof , I know it feels like a win win but you’re here now, there has to be a reason . If you don’t wish to fulfill that reason, I respect that.

Drop this article and end it !

No one would judge you & if anyone does , they deserve to eat shit. What they don’t deserve is you!

If you choose to see tomorrow, I can’t promise it’ll be good but I promise that if you text me I’ll be there , I’ll be here for you . Being alive also means having days like this.

Each of us have our own troubles , trust me we do but if we can enjoy a moment together, that’ll be really great.

I may not have what it takes to solve your problems but it’ll be less lonely. Not just for your sake but for mine too.

2 thoughts on “Don’t end it”

  1. “It can be good today and challenging tomorrow”. I felt this. And attaining inner peace is ultimately what helps us navigate life better. Knowing that come what may, we will be fine eventually. Beautiful piece ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s